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Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:
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FCC Chairman Overturns Decision To Cancel 'Party Down'

WASHINGTON—Citing the fact that the series never really got the chance it deserved, the Federal Communications Commission announced Monday that it was immediately reversing the Starz channel's decision to cancel the critically acclaimed TV show Party Down. "We regret that [Starz] chose to end such an original program at the height of its viewership and right when Henry was finally making strides in his acting career," FCC chair Julius Genachowski said. "The FCC remains committed to serving the public good, and after sitting idly by while Veronica Mars and Firefly got dumped before they were able to find their audiences, we could not let Party Down suffer the same fate. If we give up on this show now, we're no better than the Hollywood hotshots who make Casey and the gang question their dreams." With Party Down back on the air, Genachowski said he and his colleagues could now return to working on their It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia spec script.

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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

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