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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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FCC Chairman Overturns Decision To Cancel 'Party Down'

WASHINGTON—Citing the fact that the series never really got the chance it deserved, the Federal Communications Commission announced Monday that it was immediately reversing the Starz channel's decision to cancel the critically acclaimed TV show Party Down. "We regret that [Starz] chose to end such an original program at the height of its viewership and right when Henry was finally making strides in his acting career," FCC chair Julius Genachowski said. "The FCC remains committed to serving the public good, and after sitting idly by while Veronica Mars and Firefly got dumped before they were able to find their audiences, we could not let Party Down suffer the same fate. If we give up on this show now, we're no better than the Hollywood hotshots who make Casey and the gang question their dreams." With Party Down back on the air, Genachowski said he and his colleagues could now return to working on their It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia spec script.

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