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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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FCC To Fine Americans Who Don't Keep Up With TV Shows

WASHINGTON—Announcing that it would no longer allow Americans to fall behind, the Federal Communications Commission introduced a plan Monday to levy steep fines on anyone failing to keep up with the nation's TV shows. "Our economy lost more than $200 billion in productivity this year with people taking time out of their day to explain what happened last night on Mad Men," FCC chairman Julius Genachowski said. "Staying abreast of popular culture is the responsibility of every citizen. Unless we're talking about a show like Weeds, which, frankly, hasn't been that good since season two." The agency confirmed penalties would be reduced for citizens who agree to issue a minimum of three Facebook posts stating their intention to finally catch up on True Blood this weekend.

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