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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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FDA Relaxes Definition Of Smoothie

WASHINGTON—In a decision with far-reaching implications for the thick-drink industry, the Food and Drug Administration announced Monday that it is relaxing the standards all chilled, blended fruit beverages must meet in order to be labeled a smoothie. “For the first time in more than 50 years of strict oversight, the federal government will now recognize any drink that is not uniformly smooth, but includes pieces of fruit less than 0.72 centimeters in diameter, as a smoothie,” FDA spokesperson Linda Furman said. “Kiwi, cherimoya, and Bartlett pear flavors are now also permitted, as well as sherbet at levels constituting no more than 8 percent of total volume.” Furman added that a new concoction sold by the Pfizer pharmaceutical company and composed entirely of blended Xanax, whiskey, and ice has been categorized by the FDA as a yogurt drink.

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