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The Pros And Cons Of Gene Editing

Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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FDA To Increase Recommended Dosage Of Acetaminophen For Children Who Can Handle Their Shit

WASHINGTON—The Food and Drug Administration announced Friday that it has approved an increase in the recommended dosage of acetaminophen for children who can hack it. "Our research shows there is a growing number of 2-year-olds out there who are fully able to keep their shit together and hang with the big boys," FDA commissioner Margaret Hamburg said. "Just because some toddlers evidently can't walk the walk doesn't mean that other children should be forced to settle for some pussy little 320 milligrams dose when they could easily handle 960 milligrams if it came down to it. "The three-fold increase of the previously recommended dosage reportedly came about after an FDA researcher accidentally gave her nephew more than she should have and he was totally fine.

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