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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Fed: 'If Jobs Are Meant To Be With Us, They'll Come Back On Their Own'

WASHINGTON—Following a two-day meeting to discuss the country's continually disappointing employment numbers, officials from the Federal Reserve announced Friday that if jobs are really meant to be with the American people, they’ll return of their own volition. "Listen, if it's meant to be, it’ll happen," said Fed chairman Ben Bernanke, adding that there’s no point in purchasing new mortgage-backed securities or keeping the federal funds rate near zero percent "if both parties don't want this to work." "We can't spend all our time and energy trying to force this. We have to let them do their own thing, and if they don't come back, then maybe we were just never meant to be together." Bernanke confirmed that, while he is realistic about the slim chance of jobs ever actually returning, Americans should "always leave the door open" in case things change in the future.

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