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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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FedEx Cup Chase Intensifies As PGA Multiplies All Scores By 1 Million

ATLANTA—Responding to criticism from players and fans that the inaugural year of the PGA Tour's FedEx Cup Championship has failed to become the climactic season-ending event that tour officials had hoped, Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem announced  yesterday that every player's current FedEx points total would be multiplied by 1 million. "I think the chase for the FedEx Cup is even more incredibly exciting now," Finchem told reporters during a press conference Wednesday from East Lake Golf Club, site of the year-ending Tour Championship. "Did you see that Tiger Woods has an astounding 30,574,000,000 points? Sure, Vijay Singh is still proportionally the same distance behind him with 19,129,000,000, but just look at the size of those scores. How could anyone see those and not be excited?" When informed of the commissioner's decision, Tiger Woods cast doubts on the validity of the FedEx Cup and all of the PGA Tour's long-term goals by saying "I don't care."

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