adBlockCheck

Recent News

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Few Years In Military Would Have Really Straightened Out Troubled Teen Killed On First Tour Of Afghanistan

KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN—Friends, family, and colleagues of 19-year-old U.S. Marine Alex Penzerton were saddened Wednesday upon learning he had been killed by a roadside bomb and was thus deprived of the life-changing opportunity a few years in the military might have afforded him. "Alex was a troubled kid who really could have benefitted from the kind of structured environment an organization like the Marines provides," said Penzerton's father, David, holding the flag the Corps had shipped home to him. "I'm sure he would have straightened himself out if he'd just had a few more months in the service and survived into his 20s." Also killed in the attack was 26-year-old Cpl. Damon Siggs, who sources said was in his fourth tour of duty and had really turned his life around with the discipline he learned as a Marine.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings