adBlockCheck

Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
End Of Section
  • More News

Fifth Grader Fails To Avoid Embarrassment With Windbreaker Mixup

Ten-year-old Jeff Lilley put up a good fight, but was ultimately unable to keep the fact that he wasn't wearing a regular shirt underneath his windbreaker from his classmates. Check out his stats on the day:

This wasn't Jeff's first brush with potentially psyche-scarring humiliation this year. Here are some of his other highlights:

  • Slide-tackled Kim, the girl he likes, playing soccer during gym class and sent her to the nurse.
  • Sweat through his new iCarly shirt but managed to change out of it before anyone noticed.
  • Shot three airballs in a row at recess and was forced to pretend he was hurt and sit out for the rest of the game.
  • Had a solo in choir, but then got too nervous to sing on the day of the performance and nothing came out.
  • Shoved into the aisle on the bus by an older kid, then yelled at by the bus driver and forced to sit in the front seat for the rest of the week.
  • Accidentally took his sister's old pink backpack one day, but managed to avoid teasing by stuffing it in someone else's cubby and then just leaving it there.
  • Managed to fake his way through a conversation about Dan's older sister giving someone a "hummer."
  • Got tricked into trading his bag of chips for an empty package of Dunkaroos.
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings