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Film About Little Guy Battling Huge, Morally Bankrupt Organization Made By Huge, Morally Bankrupt Organization

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Film About Little Guy Battling Huge, Morally Bankrupt Organization Made By Huge, Morally Bankrupt Organization

LOS ANGELES—A new motion picture about a resilient underdog who somehow finds the courage to take on a giant, faceless corporation was released Friday by 20th Century Fox, a giant, faceless corporation. "We are just so proud of this wonderful film that shows anything is possible with a little persistence," said Fox executive Janet Taylor, who used her company's unbridled wealth and influence to effectively bury two independent movies opening the same weekend. "This incredible can-do spirit is something you don't see enough of this day and age." Taylor then excused herself to go inform 2,000 Fox employees that they no longer had jobs.

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