adBlockCheck

Recent News

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Financial Advisor Recommends Keeping One Bullet In Chamber Just In Case

NEW YORK—Noting the volatility of various retirement products and the long-term uncertainty of global markets, financial advisor Michael Reynolds recommended Tuesday that investors always keep one bullet in the chamber, just in case. “Even if you’re a more conservative investor who keeps most of your savings in bonds and money market accounts, it just makes a lot of sense to have a round locked and loaded at all times in the event of a major financial market disruption,” said Reynolds, who stressed the importance of maxing out yearly IRA contributions and regularly cleaning and oiling the barrel. “It’s probably the furthest thing from your mind right now, but the time will come when you’ll want quick access to it. When the kids are off in college and you’re nearing retirement age, and all of a sudden there’s an emergency, you’re really going to thank yourself for making sure you had that one bullet set aside and ready to go.” Reynolds added that while at the minimum, investors will want to have a single bullet in the chamber for themselves, ideally, individuals should make sure they have enough so the whole family is taken care of.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close