adBlockCheck

Politics

Arguments For And Against Single Payer Healthcare

Bernie Sanders recently introduced a single payer healthcare plan, also known as medicare-for-all, that would guarantee coverage to all Americans under one government-run plan. Here are the arguments for and against implementing a single-payer healthcare plan.

Veteran Told What Offends Him

WASHINGTON—In the wake of protests in which some players knelt during the national anthem prior to this week’s NFL games, a U.S. Army veteran has been informed that the acts offended him.

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:
End Of Section
  • More News

Financially Struggling Trump Campaign Holds Fundraising Riot

NEWARK, NJ—Having raised only $3.1 million last month despite clinching the Republican nomination and with just $1.3 million on hand, Donald Trump’s presidential campaign sought a much-needed injection of cash Wednesday by holding a fundraising riot in Newark, sources confirmed. “We’re inviting our supporters to join Donald for an afternoon of violent shoving, enraged chanting, and throwing sucker punches, with all proceeds going toward our efforts to make America great again,” said Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort, explaining that the event included a $50-a-head clash with protesters in the parking lot outside the Prudential Center, where complimentary rocks and glass bottles to throw would be provided. “Gold-level supporters who give over $500 to the campaign will have a reserved spot inside the vicious, uncontrollable scrum in the arena, where they can enjoy brawling with others or screaming racial slurs at the various minorities who will be on hand throughout the event. And our platinum-level donors—those who pledge over $1,000—will be given exclusive access to the press section, where they can knock a camera out of a photographer’s hand or slam a reporter of their choice to the ground. It’s sure to be a lively event.” At press time, the campaign had surpassed its goal of raising $5 million, leading Trump’s advisors to organize a fundraising Molotov cocktail hour outside a Hillary Clinton rally to be held later this week.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close