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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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First Date In Six Months To Be Last Date In Six Years

ROSEBURG, OR—Although he is unaware of it, Jeff Schyler's date Friday will be his last until May 2011. "I'm so glad I finally got up the balls to ask out my friend's cute sister," said the 28-year-old, whose last date was in October. "I haven't been getting much action lately, but I have a really good feeling about this." Schyler plans to take his date to see Fever Pitch, hoping the romantic comedy will "get her in the mood," which it won't.

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