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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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First Report On Long-Term Effects Of Breakdancing Released

NEW YORK—More than two decades after the breakdancing craze peaked, the first data on its long-term health effects was published Tuesday in the Strong Island Journal Of Medicine. "We've found permanent shoulder pop, elbow lock, and spin-neck in '80s-era breakdancers," said Dr. Young MD, the report's author. "For years, many subjects had thrown their hands in the air without exercising the proper care." Breakdancing researchers hope to further medical diagnostic advances pioneered by 1999's groundbreaking "Death Before And After Disco" study.

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