adBlockCheck

Fish Murder Is Disgusting And Wrong

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Fish Murder Is Disgusting And Wrong

Hey folks, real grim Inside the Bench this week on a horrifying subculture of athletes that dare to lure fish in with sharpened hooks designed to look like worms or flies. Brings up some rough stuff from my childhood when my uncle would take me on trips with the express intent of torturing and killing as many fish as we could find.

It was a sick game. Cast a hook into the water. Allow this poor, brainless fish to believe, trusting as you please, that they were about to eat fish food. Then yank with all your might, nearly trying to rip a whole through the top of his mouth and head, eviscerating the creature before it could even be hauled onto the boat.

As what my mother always called a 'sensitive' child, this inspired no shortage of crying and vomiting on my part. Please watch this piece as a favor to me and stop being part of the problem. Be part of the solution.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close