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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Flat, Unending Landscape Still Makes Veteran Cross-Country Skier Nervous Before Race

VANCOUVER—Though he has competed in hundreds of sanctioned events and two prior Winter Olympics, veteran cross-country skier Kris Freeman admitted to reporters Friday that the foreboding sight of an unfathomably flat and endless landscape still causes him apprehension before each race. "I've done this thousand of times before, but when I'm in that starting gate, and I see the featureless snow-covered tableau of the course ahead of me, it just scares me to death," Freeman said. "I'll be shaking from the monotony, but once that first rush of boredom kicks in the fear just disappears." Freeman added that he was equally terrified every time he crossed the finish line, claiming that he's never been comfortable with the lack of lights, television cameras, family, and fans who never shout his name or ask for autographs.

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