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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Floyd Mayweather, Jr. And Manny Pacquiao Urged To Put Aside Differences And Fight

LAS VEGAS—Despite pleas from their managers, handlers, and fans, Floyd Mayweather, Jr. and Manny Pacquiao are too consumed with anger toward each other to engage in fighting, sources close to the two boxers confirmed Thursday. "We've done all we can, but the animosity between these two men is too bitter to allow them to trade punches," said Mayweather adviser Leonard Ellerbe, who has repeatedly entreated Pacquiao to "set aside whatever personal animosity he bears Mayweather and do his level best to knock him out," but to little avail. "Unfortunately, their reciprocated feelings of hatred seem to be too great, and to run too deep, to ever subside into physical violence." Both Pacquiao and Mayweather are said to be considering offers to batter much closer friends of theirs into unconsciousness.

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