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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Floyd Mayweather, Jr. And Manny Pacquiao Urged To Put Aside Differences And Fight

LAS VEGAS—Despite pleas from their managers, handlers, and fans, Floyd Mayweather, Jr. and Manny Pacquiao are too consumed with anger toward each other to engage in fighting, sources close to the two boxers confirmed Thursday. "We've done all we can, but the animosity between these two men is too bitter to allow them to trade punches," said Mayweather adviser Leonard Ellerbe, who has repeatedly entreated Pacquiao to "set aside whatever personal animosity he bears Mayweather and do his level best to knock him out," but to little avail. "Unfortunately, their reciprocated feelings of hatred seem to be too great, and to run too deep, to ever subside into physical violence." Both Pacquiao and Mayweather are said to be considering offers to batter much closer friends of theirs into unconsciousness.

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