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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Floyd Mayweather Nervous That Training For De La Hoya Fight Has Not Involved Throwing Single Punch

LAS VEGAS—WBC welterweight champion Floyd "Pretty Boy" Mayweather expressed concern Tuesday over the training methods employed by his corner man and uncle Roger Mayweather, as he has not yet thrown a single punch while training for his upcoming "superfight" against multi-division world champion Oscar De La Hoya. "Uncle Roger's been putting me through plenty of, you know, running and jump-rope and footwork stuff, plus some medicine-ball drills and some lifting, but I haven't even had gloves on for weeks," Mayweather told a Ring magazine reporter writing an article on his stationary-bicycle technique. "I mean, he's telling me I'm doing great, he says it's not like I forgot how to hit or anything, but come on—shouldn't I at least do some work on a speed bag or throw some combinations at a sparring partner before going into the biggest fight in boxing history instead of all this Pilates?" De La Hoya has also expressed frustration with his own training regimen, which has thus far consisted of eating egg salad sandwiches while watching daytime television.

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