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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Floyd Mayweather Sr. Puts Price On Teaching Someone How To Beat Up Son

LAS VEGAS—Floyd Mayweather Sr., manager of prizefighter Oscar de la Hoya, announced yesterday that the cost of teaching de la Hoya how to beat up Floyd Mayweather Jr., the trainer's own flesh and blood, someone whom he helped bring into this world and someone he loves and cherishes more than anyone, would be $2 million. "Listen, if Oscar were fighting my cousin or even my brother, I would take $1 million easy. But this is my son we're talking about," said Mayweather, adding that years ago, before he tucked his son into bed every night, he told him he loved him so much that he would always be there to protect him unless he was paid $2 million to do otherwise. "I'm like Abraham, and my son is like Isaac. And Oscar de la Hoya, if he pays me $2 million, will retain his WBC welterweight title." Mayweather added that for $3 million he would slip downers in his son's water bottle between rounds.

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