adBlockCheck

Focus Groups Hated It Right Up Until Guy's Head Got Cut Off

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Focus Groups Hated It Right Up Until Guy's Head Got Cut Off

LOS ANGELES—A focus group of 150 people who saw this one movie, Fox Searchlight's modern adaptation of some Charles Dickens classic, were unresponsive right up until the violent and sudden decapitation of the lead character, which was widely heralded as "awesome."

"For the first hour and 50 minutes, comments were along the lines of 'boring,' 'too talky,' and 'booooring,'" assistant producer Marla Cannon said Monday.

"But the final scene, in which the guy gives himself up to rebels who behead him on his twin brother's TV station, was described as 'totally sick' and 'kick-ass,' often in all capital letters or with multiple exclamation points."

Producers said they were currently reworking the film to include a bunch more beheadings.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close