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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Focus: Who Is Paul Ryan?

Rep. Paul Ryan was announced Saturday as Republican candidate Mitt Romney’s vice presidential running mate. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about the 42-year-old Wisconsin politician:

Birth Place: Congressional hatchery with 15,000 other squirming political pupae

Favorite 2012 Presidential Candidate: Libertarian Gary Johnson

Vice Presidential Vetting Process: Was asked if he was gay about 47 different ways

Foreign Policy Experience: Romney-level of low

Wants to See: An America without poor and sick people, but probably not in the way you'd like

Favorite Olympics: 2002 Winter Games In Salt Lake City

Weapon: Throwing knives

Number of Words Spoken to Mitt Romney: 16

Aspirations: Hopes to one day cut his own job

Willing to Do What's Needed to Take Back the White House and Make America Great Again: Yes

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