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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Folk Art Museum Acquires Rare Visitor

NEW YORK—Representatives from the American Folk Art Museum held a press conference Wednesday, announcing that the "Legacy in Throw Rugs" exhibit had acquired a rare visitor, Ms. Marnie Schneider, who was discovered near the janitor's closet in the hubcap paintings wing. "Ms. Schneider is a real find, definitely a one of a kind," said head curator Natalie Kiernan, who estimated the historically significant attendee's value was priceless. "You could go years without seeing one of these." Kiernan admitted that, while the visitor had clearly seen some wear and tear, she appeared to be in surprisingly good shape for her age.

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