'Forbes' Names Tim Tebow World’s Most Influential Former Athlete

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Vol 49 Issue 19

Dog Owners Have Healthier Hearts

The American Heart Association officially announced that people who owned pets, particularly dogs, appeared to have a reduced risk of heart disease and had better survival rates than those without pets.

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Lovely two-bedroom, one-bath condo, carefully renovated to retain the intoxicating scent of previous tenant Lisa.

Man Does Good Job Getting Drunk

ETNA, PA—Moments after watching him finish his fifth alcoholic beverage at the Crow’s Nest Bar and Grill Thursday night, sources reported local man Chris Serna, 32, had completed the task of getting drunk with a high degree of efficiency and s...
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Report: Dad Wants To Show You Where Fuse Box Is

YOUR LOCATION—Noting that it’s important to be prepared in case of emergencies but it’s also a good thing to know in general, your dad announced today that he wants to show you where the fuse box is.

'Forbes' Names Tim Tebow World’s Most Influential Former Athlete

NEW YORK—Forbes magazine named recently cut New York Jets backup quarterback Tim Tebow as the world’s most influential former athlete Thursday, stating that the 25-year-old holds more sway than anyone else who used to play sports. “In the world of professional sports played before April 2013, Tim Tebow is king,” said Forbes sportswriter Tom Van Riper, adding that the ex-NFL player was still tremendously popular and held a position of stature among athletes who have concluded their careers. “We asked Americans which washed-up former backup athlete they believe wields the most clout, and most didn’t even hesitate as they said Tim Tebow.” Forbes sources confirmed that Tebow narrowly beat out fellow former athlete Derek Jeter for the list’s top spot.

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