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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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Ford Assembly Line Foreman Thinking About Asking Out Cute Welding Robot From Work

DEARBORN, MI—Sources said Tuesday that Bruce Garver, a 42-year-old assembly line foreman at the Ford Motor Company's Dearborn, MI, plant, is giving serious consideration to asking a cute welding robot he works with out on a date. "She's not only pretty, but I've never seen anyone so committed to their job," said Garver, who said he'd asked around and learned that no one recalled the DX 700 spot welder ever mentioning a boyfriend. "I'd never want to interfere with that, of course, but I bet she gets lonely sometimes. I know I do." At press time, Garver had still not approached the 1,900-pound robot, reportedly convinced that she was way out of his league.

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