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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Foreman Whips Up Special Batch Of Concrete For Favorite Customer

OMAHA, NE—Schultz Concrete Company foreman Al Grayson, 42, mixed up a home-made vat of his finest concrete blend Tuesday for Brenner Construction employee Charles Jacobin, after inviting his favorite customer to "follow [him] 'round back for the good stuff." "Charlie's been coming to me for years, and I know exactly how he likes it," said Grayson, adding that his special batch isn't the kind that lasts just long enough to satisfy the inspectors but then falls apart. "This is concrete the way my grandfather made it, with just a touch of gypsum. There was only one bag left, so I tucked it away for my main man Charlie." While Grayson refused to divulge his secret recipe, he did claim to use only organic cement, artesian well water, and "enough quartzite to make any sidewalk sparkle."

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