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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Foreman Whips Up Special Batch Of Concrete For Favorite Customer

OMAHA, NE—Schultz Concrete Company foreman Al Grayson, 42, mixed up a home-made vat of his finest concrete blend Tuesday for Brenner Construction employee Charles Jacobin, after inviting his favorite customer to "follow [him] 'round back for the good stuff." "Charlie's been coming to me for years, and I know exactly how he likes it," said Grayson, adding that his special batch isn't the kind that lasts just long enough to satisfy the inspectors but then falls apart. "This is concrete the way my grandfather made it, with just a touch of gypsum. There was only one bag left, so I tucked it away for my main man Charlie." While Grayson refused to divulge his secret recipe, he did claim to use only organic cement, artesian well water, and "enough quartzite to make any sidewalk sparkle."

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