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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Former Nun Responds To Release Of Pau Gasol Sex Tape

The Lakers are dealing with another distraction as they make their playoff push: the leak of a surreal, expressionistic sex tape starring power forward Pau Gasol. The woman who filmed and appears in the tape, an ex-nun known only as "H," agreed to write about her experience filming with Gasol:

I am disturbed by the release of the tape, but only the timing and the nature of the release. "Physiology Of Desire" was conceived not as a "sex tape" in the traditional sense, but as a radical deconstruction of western notions of sexuality, eroticism, sense, capitalism and longing. Though filmed months ago, the project was not complete, and it was our intention for the film to be screened only once against the wall of an abandoned train station. For the film to be distributed on television and over the internet cheapens its effect and dulls the alienating blow it was meant to deliver.

Since its release, most have read the film as a piece of erotica through the lens of the male gaze. This interpretation is incorrect. "Physiology Of Desire" was intended as a critique of imperialistic sensuality -- those who see it as less than this miss the irony. I am amused by the public's reaction of disdain and mock horror -- it only proves the ideas upon which the film was based. I know Pau is more idealistic in his art; he would have liked for the film to change people's minds.

As for Pau himself, he was inspired, generous and professional, and I know I could never work with him again. I wish him luck in his next project, and hope he finds satisfaction in himself, as those who create to please any other than themselves are inevitably disappointed.

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