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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Former Nun Responds To Release Of Pau Gasol Sex Tape

The Lakers are dealing with another distraction as they make their playoff push: the leak of a surreal, expressionistic sex tape starring power forward Pau Gasol. The woman who filmed and appears in the tape, an ex-nun known only as "H," agreed to write about her experience filming with Gasol:

I am disturbed by the release of the tape, but only the timing and the nature of the release. "Physiology Of Desire" was conceived not as a "sex tape" in the traditional sense, but as a radical deconstruction of western notions of sexuality, eroticism, sense, capitalism and longing. Though filmed months ago, the project was not complete, and it was our intention for the film to be screened only once against the wall of an abandoned train station. For the film to be distributed on television and over the internet cheapens its effect and dulls the alienating blow it was meant to deliver.

Since its release, most have read the film as a piece of erotica through the lens of the male gaze. This interpretation is incorrect. "Physiology Of Desire" was intended as a critique of imperialistic sensuality -- those who see it as less than this miss the irony. I am amused by the public's reaction of disdain and mock horror -- it only proves the ideas upon which the film was based. I know Pau is more idealistic in his art; he would have liked for the film to change people's minds.

As for Pau himself, he was inspired, generous and professional, and I know I could never work with him again. I wish him luck in his next project, and hope he finds satisfaction in himself, as those who create to please any other than themselves are inevitably disappointed.

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