adBlockCheck

Former Senator Still Hanging Around Capitol

Top Headlines

Politics

The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race

Donald Trump’s Campaign: Myth Vs. Fact

Donald Trump’s political positions, personal history, and potential governing style have been the subject of much debate throughout the 2016 election. The Onion separates myth from fact in this breakdown of Trump’s campaign:

Report: Well, Here We Go

WASHINGTON—With Donald Trump’s two remaining GOP rivals suspending their candidacies and clearing a path for the billionaire businessman to assume the Republican presidential nomination, reports indicated Wednesday that, well, hoo boy, here we go.

Ted Cruz Dressed For Campaign Rally By Swarm Of Loyal Vermin

INDIANAPOLIS—In what has reportedly become a daily routine on the campaign trail, Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz stood alone in the center of his hotel suite Tuesday morning where he was carefully dressed and groomed by a swarm of loyal vermin.

How The GOP Plans To Stop Trump

In response to Donald Trump’s growing presidential primary lead, here’s how Republican Party leaders are ramping up efforts to prevent him from getting enough delegates to win the nomination outright.

It Unclear Why Thousands Of Loud, Chanting Trump Supporters Gathering Outside Arena In Iowa

‘There’s No Event Here, But They Keep Coming,’ Say Concerned Stadium Staff

DES MOINES, IA—Noting that the Republican presidential candidate had not announced any plans to visit Iowa since the state held its caucus 11 weeks ago, baffled sources reported Wednesday that it remains unclear why thousands of loud, cheering Donald Trump supporters are gathering outside the Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines.

Obama Caught Trying To Jump White House Fence

WASHINGTON—The White House was briefly placed on lockdown Friday morning after “an addled and emotionally distraught” President Obama was reportedly caught trying to scale the North Lawn fence, the third such attempt this year, Secret Service officials confirmed.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Former Senator Still Hanging Around Capitol

WASHINGTON, DC—Former Virginia senator Charles Robb, ousted from Congress in the 2000 elections by Republican challenger George Allen, continues to hang around the Capitol building nearly two years later, sources reported Monday.

Former Virginia senator Chuck Robb loiters outside the U.S. Capitol.

"I saw him again this morning," said Sen. Ted Stevens (R-AK), who served on various subcommittees with Robb during his 1989-2001 senate tenure. "As usual, he was leaning against a column by the front steps, smoking a cigarette. I tried to act like I didn't see him, but he flagged me down and started asking me all these questions about new legislation and 'what's been up with everybody.' It was so awkward."

While most ousted legislators land jobs in the private sector, go on the speaking circuit, or retire, Robb has struggled with the transition to post-senate life.

"Serving in Congress was the highlight of Chuck's life, and he just hasn't been able to let that go and move on," said Mark Shields, moderator of CNN's The Capital Gang. "I think that by loitering around the Capitol, he can convince himself he's still in the loop."

The day after Robb's election loss to Allen, numerous friends and colleagues dropped by his office to wish him good luck in future endeavors. Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE) recalled telling Robb "not to be a stranger"—unaware of just how faithfully the departing senator would heed the words.

"The first week after the Senate reconvened in January, he showed up," Biden said. "Everyone was excited to see him again and made a big deal about his dropping by. But then he just kept coming back. I used to joke about making him an honorary Senator For Life, but he seemed to take that a bit too seriously, so I stopped."

In spite of their discomfort with Robb's constant presence, most senators concede that he is generally unobtrusive.

"Mostly, he just likes shooting the breeze," Sen. Wayne Allard (R-CO) said. "He'll talk to you if you just want to chat, but he doesn't mind making himself scarce when there's work to be done. It's weird asking him to leave when, just two years ago, he would have been working alongside us."

Because the Capitol is a public building, Robb is free to roam its halls during visiting hours. So omnipresent is Robb, senators occasionally forget that he is no longer an elected member.

"I approached Chuck one day to ask if I could count on his support for my new clean-water bill," Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-VT) said. "He just looked at me and said, 'I would, Pat, but federal law prohibits non-senators from voting.' I completely forgot he wasn't a senator anymore."

"Sometimes, I'll spot him with a tour group up in the balcony of the senate chambers, sighing loudly," Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID) said. "Sad."

Not all senators are as tolerant of Robb.

"The most important work in the country is being done in this building," said Senate Minority Leader Trent Lott (R-MS). "Charles is a nice enough fella, but he has no business being here. This is a lawmaking body, not a clubhouse."

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close