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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Fox Introduces New Line Of Scrimmage Reporter For NFL Playoffs

LOS ANGELES—Claiming that the new addition to their broadcast will bring fans closer to the game than ever before, officials from Fox Sports confirmed Friday that the network is debuting line of scrimmage reporters for all of its NFL playoff games. “Beginning with Wild Card Weekend, our line of scrimmage reporters will be positioned right in the middle of the neutral zone in order to provide viewers with the most in-depth and up-to-date information on what’s happening before the snap,” said Fox Sports president Eric Shanks, adding that the reporters will shed valuable insight into the quarterback’s cadence, audibles on either side of the ball, and any trash talk during the 40 seconds between each play. “For the first time ever, fans will be given live updates from a source standing just inches away from the center as he tries to read the opposing defense. And once the ball is snapped, our commentators will check back in with our reporter to get a firsthand look at how a hole or passing pocket is developing.” Shanks added that the network is also currently experimenting with a sky reporter, who, while suspended from a thin wire running the length of the field, will provide real-time analysis of plays from an aerial position.

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