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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Fox Launches 'We're Not Any Happier About This Than You Are' Campaign Promoting World Series

ST. LOUIS—Acknowledging this year's World Series lacks a compelling team and any real sense of drama, Fox rolled out ads for its coverage this week using the tagline "We're Not Any Happier About This Than You Are." "You don't have to tell us what a disappointment this is. We wasted hundreds of millions of dollars on the rights to broadcast up to seven games between two unlovable, unspectacular teams from moribund markets," Fox announcer Joe Buck says in one ad. "But it's going in the record books as a World Series. So if you're a baseball fan, you're pretty much obliged to watch Fox." To better reflect the current series, a line used in previous postseason advertisements, "Legends Are Born in October," has been reworked to "A Series of Bullpen Arms Will Be Shuttled in and out to Get Favorable Matchups in October."

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