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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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The President Of Vice

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Frantic Biden Searching Dog Shelter For Bo Look-Alike

WASHINGTON—Claiming that he would “be up Shit Creek without a goddamn paddle” if he wasn’t able to locate one, a frantic, out-of-breath Vice President Joe Biden reportedly arrived at a D.C. area canine rescue shelter early Monday morning in search of a look-alike for the Obama family’s pet dog Bo. “Hey, I need a poodle, pronto—black one if you got it,” the frenzied, disheveled VP told Washington Humane Society workers, emphasizing that he needed to “score a dead ringer” for the First Family’s beloved Portuguese Water Dog “before they wise up.” “Theirs is a boy, I think, but whatever, can’t be picky here. That little nippy one is close enough. Doesn’t have to be the genuine article. Uncle Joe’s just got to set things right.” Sources confirmed Biden also asked the shelter’s employees if they offered any “cheap quickie pet cremations.”

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