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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Fred Willard A Huge Hit At Counseling Session

LOS ANGELES—Since his arrest last Wednesday on lewd conduct charges, actor and comedian Fred Willard has become "quite the hit" in his court-mandated counseling sessions, amused sources reported this week. "Oh, man, that guy is a blast," said licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Tom Gronkowski, adding that he would barely begin delving into allegations that Willard publicly exposed himself in an adult theater before the actor would say something that "left [him] in stitches" for the next 10 minutes. "One moment I'm talking about the definition of a sex crime, and the next [Willard] is launching into this totally improvised bit where he's this clueless announcer guy commenting on everything I do. It's pretty killer stuff." Gronkowski added that he hadn’t had this much fun serving in a court diversion program since Andy Dick was arrested on sexual abuse charges in July 2011.

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