adBlockCheck

Fred Willard A Huge Hit At Counseling Session

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Surprises

  • Email From Mom Sent At 5:32 A.M.

    DENVER—After waking up and finding the message waiting on his computer, local man Drew Swanson confirmed to reporters Thursday that his mother had sent him an email at 5:32 a.m.

Originality

Fred Willard A Huge Hit At Counseling Session

LOS ANGELES—Since his arrest last Wednesday on lewd conduct charges, actor and comedian Fred Willard has become "quite the hit" in his court-mandated counseling sessions, amused sources reported this week. "Oh, man, that guy is a blast," said licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Tom Gronkowski, adding that he would barely begin delving into allegations that Willard publicly exposed himself in an adult theater before the actor would say something that "left [him] in stitches" for the next 10 minutes. "One moment I'm talking about the definition of a sex crime, and the next [Willard] is launching into this totally improvised bit where he's this clueless announcer guy commenting on everything I do. It's pretty killer stuff." Gronkowski added that he hadn’t had this much fun serving in a court diversion program since Andy Dick was arrested on sexual abuse charges in July 2011.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close