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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Freudian Physical Therapist Convinced Dream Actually About Knee

WESTPORT, CT—Cal Eddards, a physical therapist who treats injuries through Freudian dream analysis, said her patient's dream of isolation and disorientation was about his torn ACL. "Patient A dreamed that his house had several new, ominous rooms—clearly a subconscious manifestation of ruptured tendon," Eddards wrote in the PT Bulletin Online. "The unstable knee, coupled with his normal fears of castration, have caused a state of repressed emotionality that, if left untreated, could contribute to bursitis later in life."

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