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Friend Gearing Up To Hate The Hulk

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Friend Gearing Up To Hate The Hulk

EL PASO, TX—For the past three weeks, comic-book aficionado Derek Linden, 23, has been gearing up to hate Universal Pictures' The Hulk, which opens June 13. "Maybe it'll be good, but I'm bracing for the worst," Linden told friend Paul Comello Monday. "The CGI makes him look like Shrek. And even though The Hulk has the ability to leap long distances, in the trailer it looks like he's flying, which he can't do. And I won't even get into how, in the Hulk origin story, he was gray, not green." Linden said he also has "grave doubts" about Jennifer Connelly's ability to convincingly portray Betty Ross.

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