adBlockCheck

Sports

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
End Of Section
  • More News

Friend Lives Strange Other Life As Manchester United Fan

BOSTON—According to resident Mike Donnick, his friend and roommate Ben Manton lives a bizarre parallel life as a fan of the U.K. Premier League soccer club Manchester United. “On Saturdays, I’ll hear him leave the apartment at like 7 in the morning, and then he’ll come back around 2 or 3 in the afternoon absolutely plastered, wearing an enormous red scarf and Man U jersey,” Donnick told reporters Tuesday, admitting he has no idea where Ben goes or with whom he hangs out while away. “Occasionally, Ben’ll be on his computer and yell something like ‘Fucking Vidic,’ but when I ask him who Vidic is, he tells me Vidic’s the club skipper and not to worry about it. I think Vidic might be a soccer player, but who knows?” Donnick also said Ben’s weird choice to sing “Build a bonfire, build a bonfire, put the Scousers on the top” to the tune of “Oh My Darling, Clementine” is somehow connected to his secret Manchester United fandom, but could not be certain.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close