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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Friend Takes Liberty Of Ordering $40 Worth Of Appetizers For Entire Table

ATLANTA—Speaking up on behalf of his six-person group at Morrie’s Tavern & Grill Tuesday evening, software engineer Bradley McCray reportedly took it upon himself to order a wide selection of appetizers totaling approximately $40. “Yeah, let’s get two loaded potato skins, a plate of habanero poppers, and a few baskets of chips and guac for the table,” McCray was overheard telling the waitress, neglecting to consult the other members of his party before committing them to the large assortment of pre-dinner fare. “Are the regular or chipotle hot wings better? You know, how about you just bring us one of each? And we’re also gonna start off with a pitcher of strawberry margaritas to share.” At press time, the rest of the table was watching helplessly as McCray asked to see the dessert menu.

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