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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
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Friend Tells Depressing Details Of How He's Covered By Freelancers Union

NEW YORK—Friends of part-time graphic designer Keith Hayes reported Tuesday that they listened uncomfortably as the 26-year-old described the horribly depressing specifics of the health insurance he receives through the Freelancers Union. "Each detail was more pathetic than the last, from the $150 co-pay he’s charged for one of his medications, to the pre-existing condition and pre-certification inquiries he constantly has to deal with," said friend Kelly McGrath, adding that she winced when Hayes mentioned his plan’s $2,500 annual deductible. "And the most heartbreaking part? He's paying more than $400 a month for this—trust me, if there were some way I could list him as a dependent, I would." McGrath later admitted that this wouldn’t do Hayes much good, since she herself isn’t able to afford health insurance of any kind.

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