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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Friend Tells Depressing Details Of How He's Covered By Freelancers Union

NEW YORK—Friends of part-time graphic designer Keith Hayes reported Tuesday that they listened uncomfortably as the 26-year-old described the horribly depressing specifics of the health insurance he receives through the Freelancers Union. "Each detail was more pathetic than the last, from the $150 co-pay he’s charged for one of his medications, to the pre-existing condition and pre-certification inquiries he constantly has to deal with," said friend Kelly McGrath, adding that she winced when Hayes mentioned his plan’s $2,500 annual deductible. "And the most heartbreaking part? He's paying more than $400 a month for this—trust me, if there were some way I could list him as a dependent, I would." McGrath later admitted that this wouldn’t do Hayes much good, since she herself isn’t able to afford health insurance of any kind.

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