adBlockCheck

Recent News

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
End Of Section
  • More News

Friend Tells Depressing Details Of How He's Covered By Freelancers Union

NEW YORK—Friends of part-time graphic designer Keith Hayes reported Tuesday that they listened uncomfortably as the 26-year-old described the horribly depressing specifics of the health insurance he receives through the Freelancers Union. "Each detail was more pathetic than the last, from the $150 co-pay he’s charged for one of his medications, to the pre-existing condition and pre-certification inquiries he constantly has to deal with," said friend Kelly McGrath, adding that she winced when Hayes mentioned his plan’s $2,500 annual deductible. "And the most heartbreaking part? He's paying more than $400 a month for this—trust me, if there were some way I could list him as a dependent, I would." McGrath later admitted that this wouldn’t do Hayes much good, since she herself isn’t able to afford health insurance of any kind.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings