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Choosing The Right Dog For You

Once you decide to get a dog, there’s a wide range of adoptable pets to choose from, whether it’s a mutt or purebred. The Onion offers some helpful tips for choosing the dog that’s right for you.

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With a new school year beginning soon, parents are making decisions about which type of school best fits their child’s needs. The Onion breaks down what each has to offer.

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Each summer, Americans flock to the coasts to enjoy the sun and waves. Here are the beach bag must-haves you should never head to the shore without.

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With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Friend Who’s Going Through Difficult Emotional Time Carefully Avoided

BUTLER, PA—Saying that the 33-year-old has been going through a pretty rough patch lately and might even be clinically depressed, friends of local man Darren Lalley confirmed they are taking care to avoid him as much as possible. “Yeah, Darren’s in kind of a bad place right now, so I’m doing the best I can to keep my distance,” said Lalley’s friend John Carver, 32, who mentioned that lately he has been sending Lalley’s calls to voicemail and going invisible whenever he signs onto Gchat. “I definitely want to give him his space now that the holidays are coming, because that’s always the worst time of year for him. If we bump into each other at any of the same parties, it’ll be tough tiptoeing around personal stuff and sticking to small talk, but I’ll try my hardest.” Carver added that he is also making a point of avoiding his friend David Osborn, who reportedly won’t stop talking about how happy he is to be engaged.

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