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Friend Who's Into Politics Makes You Feel Stupid Again

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Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.

‘Heed My Tragic Story Well, Friends, For You Could Just As Easily Be Me,’ Says Chris Christie In Haunting RNC Speech

CLEVELAND—A thrall sweeping over the assembled GOP officials and party members Tuesday as he recounted his chilling tale of hubris, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly entreated those at the Republican National Convention to consider the sad story of his own dizzying rise and ignominious fall, offering a bitter warning to all in attendance that his terrible fate could befall any one of them.
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Friend Who's Into Politics Makes You Feel Stupid Again

CHICAGO—Nate Carney, 28, your well-read, politically minded friend of eight years, made you feel ignorant again Tuesday with his incisive breakdown of the current Democratic presidential candidates.

"With former Daschle staffers like [early-state adviser Steve] Hildebrand and a reform-minded message guru like [media consultant David] Axelrod, Obama's got the team in place he needs to appeal to everyone from the netroots to the AARP set," said Carney, whose impromptu analysis reminded you that you still haven't gotten around to reading the Obama cover story in that issue of Time magazine you purchased five months ago. "But even if the youth demo[graphic] increases its already improved turnout from '04 and '06, Obama's still going to need to win over a significant number of rank-and-filers who support [Sen.] Hillary [Clinton] in order to gain a competitive number of convention delegates. Especially considering all the proposed changes to the primary calendar next year."

After listening to more than 20 minutes of his well-reasoned extrapolation, you were too bewildered and disoriented to ask him what's up with McCain.

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