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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Friend Whose Mom Just Died Allowed to Pick Pizza Topping

HYANNIS, NE—Because his mother died of cancer on Jan. 8, Jon Brendemuehl, 11, got to choose the pizza topping during a bowling outing with best friend Greg Weber and his family Monday. "Go ahead, Jon—pick whatever you like," Weber said as the entire table gazed at Brendemuehl in sympathy. "See, you got a higher score than all of us—even my dad, who once bowled a 300 game—and now you get to eat whatever kind of pizza you want. This is fun, hey?" Witnesses report Brendemuehl smiled weakly and ordered pepperoni.

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