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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Friends Tell El Duque He Shouldn't Have To Change Windup For Mets To Like Him

NEW YORK—Close friends of Orlando "El Duque" Hernandez explained to the Mets pitcher Tuesday that, despite his team's attempts to get him to alter his unconventional delivery to alleviate the stress placed on his right push-off foot, Hernandez is great the way he is and should not have to change anything about his mechanics just to fit in on the Mets roster. "If the Mets don't want you to be their fifth starter, that's their loss," Hernandez's longtime friend Bob Cohn, 52, reportedly told the pitcher Tuesday. "Your windup is great. It's unique, it's quirky, it's flashy without being pretentious—Orlando, it's you." Cohn and Hernandez's other friends, however, later went on to suggest that maybe Hernandez might want to try possibly abandoning his high leg kick, "just to show a different side of yourself, you know?"

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