Frugal Couple Saves Money By Making Own Porn

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Vol 50 Issue 10

Mark Zuckerberg Calls Obama To Complain About Spying

In an open letter he posted this week, Mark Zuckerberg wrote that he called President Obama to express his concerns about the NSA’s mass surveillance programs, which the Facebook founder considers a huge threat to the future of the internet.

Dog Doesn’t Consider Itself Part Of Family

THOMASVILLE, GA—While admitting that he relies on members of the family for food and shelter and is often included in household activities and family photographs, local 6-year-old golden retriever Pepper told reporters Friday that he in no way consi...

Sexual Predator Gets Tenure

Obama spends the afternoon in a garage restoring a classic drone, McDonald’s is now offering bereavement prices, and a sexual predator gets tenure.

Number Of Adults On ADHD Meds Reaches New High

According to a new report, the number of adults taking prescription medications for ADHD rose 50 percent between 2008 and 2012, leading many to question whether doctors are overprescribing the meds.
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Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

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Frugal Couple Saves Money By Making Own Porn

KIRKSVILLE, MO—Saying they’re trying to tighten their belts where they can and cut back on costly erotica expenses, local couple Christopher and Ellen Landstrom told reporters Friday they have been able to save money by making their own porn at home. “When we sat down and did the math on our annual subscription to VividVideo.com and regular trips to Tom’s Adult Emporium, we realized just how much we could save if we shot our own hardcore scenes ourselves,” said Christopher Landstrom, who estimates the couple has been able to trim costs by at least $80 a month by filming vaginal intercourse, cunnilingus, and facial ejaculations in their living room. “Some of our friends thought we were being way too thrifty, but it hasn’t even felt like that big of a sacrifice. When I think of all the money we’re saving by staying in on weekends and fisting each other in front of the camcorder, it just makes sense.” The couple admitted they have been able to reduce their household budget even further by sewing their own cheerleader costumes and inviting Ellen’s twin sister Lisa to join them every once in a while.

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