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Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Frustrated Bob Ley Tasked With Explaining Concept Of Europe To ESPN Viewers

BRISTOL, CT—Assigned to provide commentary over SportsCenter's Euro 2012 highlights Tuesday night, ESPN anchor Bob Ley was forced to explain first the existence of Europe to the show's audience, a daunting task that clearly frustrated him. "You know how we say the U.S. is a country? Well, Europe is many countries put together, and people live in them just like people live here," said Ley, rushing through his script as England and Ukraine played on screen, and failing to make it through even a brief overview of the continent's history or why it was relevant, much less who Wayne Rooney is or why it was good that the ball bounced off his head at the end of the field. "Over by where the Red Sox play is some water called the Atlantic Ocean, and on the other side of the water is Europe… Okay, let's just leave it at that. I've probably lost most of you by now." Ley then went on to highlights of the Sweden-France match, simplifying things by just calling the two foreign nations the "Blue Jays" and the "Expos."

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