adBlockCheck

Sports

Milestones In X Games History

With the X Games kicking off in Minneapolis this Thursday, The Onion looks back at memorable moments in the event’s 22-year history:

ESPN Holds Daytime ESPYs

HARTFORD, CT—Recognizing the best in sports programming that occurs on weekdays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., ESPN held the Daytime ESPY Awards at the Hartford XL Center Wednesday afternoon.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.

New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.
End Of Section
  • More News

Frustrated Kevin Durant Realizes He Forgot To Write-Off Several Dunks On Taxes

OKLAHOMA CITY—Just hours after Kevin Durant mailed in his forms for 2010, a conversation with Thunder teammate Russell Westbrook Monday made him realize he had forgotten to deduct the results of some 600 dunks. "Russell was talking about how he was able to get almost 60 percent back from dunks, and I was just stunned I'd forgotten to put down any at all," said Durant, who noted that he could have received substantial dunk-related refunds, as even dunks made while ahead by more than 10 points could be counted as necessary entertainment write-offs. "I mean, even Serge [Ibaka] remembered to list all his jams, and he's from the Congo." Durant said he had intended to make the deductions, keeping each of his dunk receipts, but had gotten sidetracked by the pressure of filling out his and-1 forms by the April 18 deadline.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close