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What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Contents Of The Voyager Golden Record

Forty years ago this week, NASA launched Voyager 2, which carries a gold-plated record featuring pictures and sounds from Earth as well as scientific information, all of which was carefully compiled in anticipation of a possible extraterrestrial encounter. Here are the contents of the record:
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Frustrated Nation Out Of Ideas To Solve Gun Violence Problem Except For All The Obvious Ones

WASHINGTON—Unsure of what to do after the Senate rejected several gun control measures Monday in the wake of the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history, frustrated Americans reported Tuesday they were completely out of ideas to solve the nation’s gun violence problem except for all the obvious ones. “I feel like there’s absolutely nothing we can do to stop these killings from happening over and over except for all the first things you’d think of,” said San Jose, CA resident Megan Ortiz, echoing the sentiments of tens of millions of her fellow citizens who were uncertain how to prevent such tragedies from happening again in the future aside from the most basic, common-sense solutions that immediately come to mind whenever a mass shooting occurs. “Trying to stop people who are most likely to commit mass shootings from getting the device needed to commit mass shootings didn’t work, and trying to ban the type of instrument that makes these mass shootings so easy to carry out also didn’t go anywhere. Beyond those glaringly apparent answers, I’m really drawing a blank on what we could possibly do.” At press time, the American people had reportedly resigned themselves to the conclusion that no solution—except for several that 90 percent of them all agreed on—existed, and simply went on with their days without giving the issue any further thought.

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