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Grievances Brought Up With Powerless Supervisor

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Fed up with an increasing workload and problems with his coworkers at CLG Software, project coordinator William Garsten reportedly took a list of grievances Wednesday to supervisor Todd Watkins, a middle manager utterly powerless to...

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Frustration With Husband Taken Out On Soap Scum

FAYETTEVILLE, AR—Local homemaker Darlene Ernst, 37, expressed her frustration with her husband Dean on Tuesday by vigorously scouring the stubborn soap scum from her bathtub's surface.  "A clean bathroom takes a lot of work, and maybe I'm not always in the mood to do it, but I do it anyway because it's the right thing," said Ernst, whose spouse's emotional unavailability is similarly responsible for her home's dust-free mini-blinds and spotless attic.  "I will not let this soap scum ruin my life." Sources report that Ernst treated herself to a new Clorox ReadyMop over the weekend after hearing from neighbors that her husband was seen with another woman.

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