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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Fucker Sure Taking Long Time To Download

MESA, AZ–That fucker sure is taking a long time to download, computer user Larry Eisen reported Monday. "What is taking this fucker so long?" asked Eisen, trying to download the fucker from amug.org, the web site for Arizona Macintosh Users Group. "I got a DSL line for this?" Spokespersons for AMUG, which offers the 145 MB, BinHex-encoded fucker for download off its FTP server, could not be reached as of press time.

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