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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Funeral Held For Door Shot 4 Times By Oscar Pistorius

PRETORIA, SOUTH AFRICA—Hundreds of grieving friends and family members gathered at a private memorial service today to mourn the death of the bathroom door that was shot by paralympian Oscar Pistorius late last week. “This poor door was only three years old—what kind of a monster would do such a thing?” said mourner Henrik Lourens of the poplar entryway, which died of multiple gunshot wounds early Valentine’s Day. “We got a carpenter to fix it up for the casket, and he did a pretty good job, but it’s still hard to see it just lying there. At least it’s in a better place now.” Sources confirmed the door would be cremated.

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