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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Future Recruiting Violation Makes Commitment To Michigan

MEMPHIS, TN—During a signing ceremony at his high school's gymnasium Thursday, one of the nation's top recruiting violations made his intent to play basketball for the University of Michigan official. "I'm excited to be part of the Michigan tradition, and I hope to start helping them this year," said the recruiting violation, 19, referring to a season that the NCAA will eventually strip from the record books. "I hope to follow in the rich tradition of Robert Traylor and Chris Webber." Though rumors are already swirling concerning his close ties to wealthy alumni athletic boosters, the recruiting violation expressly and vehemently denied these allegations in a conference call made from his new Porsche Cayenne.

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