adBlockCheck

Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
End Of Section
  • More News

Gamecocks Fan Surprised To Hear That Team Represents a College

COLUMBIA, SC—Speaking with reporters, Columbia resident Mike Wegley, 34, expressed astonishment Saturday upon learning that his favorite football team, the Gamecocks, is in fact a group of amateurs representing the University of South Carolina. “Huh. Really? They’re like a college team?” said Wegley, who mentioned that he has attended numerous Gamecocks home games over the past several years without once suspecting that the team was affiliated with an academic institution. “I guess I always assumed they were a local semi-pro team, or maybe an NFL farm program or something. Honestly, it never crossed my mind that the Gamecocks might be in any way involved with higher learning.” Wegley said he was equally surprised to discover the Carolina Panthers are a professional franchise and not, as he had thought, a high school’s junior varsity squad.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close