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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Gamecocks Fan Surprised To Hear That Team Represents a College

COLUMBIA, SC—Speaking with reporters, Columbia resident Mike Wegley, 34, expressed astonishment Saturday upon learning that his favorite football team, the Gamecocks, is in fact a group of amateurs representing the University of South Carolina. “Huh. Really? They’re like a college team?” said Wegley, who mentioned that he has attended numerous Gamecocks home games over the past several years without once suspecting that the team was affiliated with an academic institution. “I guess I always assumed they were a local semi-pro team, or maybe an NFL farm program or something. Honestly, it never crossed my mind that the Gamecocks might be in any way involved with higher learning.” Wegley said he was equally surprised to discover the Carolina Panthers are a professional franchise and not, as he had thought, a high school’s junior varsity squad.

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