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Gap Forced To Recall Pants After Man Dies Eating 37 Pairs Of Corduroys

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Fact-Checking The First Presidential Debate

Addressing issues ranging from national security to trade to their personal controversies, Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and Republican nominee Donald Trump squared off in the first presidential debate Monday. The Onion takes a look at the validity of their bolder claims:

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HEMPSTEAD, NY—Explaining that the American people showed relatively little interest in learning more about the nominees’ economic, counterterrorism, or immigration policies, a new Quinnipiac University poll revealed that 89 percent of viewers were tuning into Monday night’s presidential debate solely to see whether the roof collapses on the two candidates.

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Trump Planning To Throw Lie About Immigrant Crime Rate Out There Early In Debate To Gauge How Much He Can Get Away With

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Gap Forced To Recall Pants After Man Dies Eating 37 Pairs Of Corduroys

SAN FRANCISCO—After reports surfaced Thursday that a local Gap customer became ill after consuming 37 pairs of five-pocket straight-fit corduroy pants, the clothing chain recalled the wrinkle-resistant men’s trousers and issued a statement urging customers to refrain from eating any style of their pants. “Gap is taking the necessary steps in the matter: First, we are going to put a label on our corduroy pants reminding people that it’s unhealthy to eat clothing. Second, we would just like to say directly to our customers, right now, that our pants are designed to be worn, not eaten. And third, if you recently purchased multiple pairs of corduroy pants, you can send them back for a full refund if you purchased the garments with the intent of eating them,” said Gap Inc. spokesperson Dina Abrahms, adding that the company’s sweaters, sweatshirts, tees, and tanks were also not intended to be swallowed or digested, and that in the event that a customer did consume multiple articles of Gap clothing, he or she should go to the nearest hospital immediately. “Now, if you really must eat our garments, please do so in moderation. One or two items at the very most, and never 37 pairs of pants in one sitting.” The company clarified that customers could feel free to eat their long-sleeve thermals, though, adding, “They’re actually pretty good.”

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