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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Garden State Some Poor Fuck's Favorite Movie

LOS ANGELES—Despite the existence of cinema classics such as Citizen Kane, The Godfather, and Seven Samurai, the 2004 film Garden State starring Zach Braff and Natalie Portman is some poor fuck's favorite movie, according to a posting on imdb.com.

"I thought the interplay between the main characters was beautiful, and the soundtrack was amazing," wrote the miserable bastard after another post called the film "self-indulgent" and "annoying." "It's this cynical society's snap reaction to dislike a movie about finding one's true self. I honestly cry every time he gets off that plane."

The sad sack of shit was swiftly put in his place by another IMDb user, who argued that the film was just a "knockoff" of superior predecessors, such as You've Got Mail.

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